Podcast

Why Is It So Tough to Take Breaks?

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There’s an emotional side to taking breaks from work that not enough people talk about. The truth is that we’re so used to working (and feeling guilty when we don’t) that our brains fight us every step of the way. We end up either never taking breaks or taking breaks that aren’t restorative. 

How do you prepare your mindset to take the break you deserve as both a small business owner and a human? 

Review the Transcript

Welcome to The Modern Editor Podcast, where we talk about all things editing and what it’s like to run an editorial business in today’s world. I’m your host, Tara Whitaker. Let’s get to it.

Hello there. It is a new year and we are back with new episodes here on The Modern Editor Podcast. I’m super pumped to get back into it. It feels like it’s been way too long, and we have an amazing lineup of topics and guests coming up. So stay tuned.

For today, we’re going to talk about the thoughts and emotions that come up around taking breaks. I did an episode last year about taking time off as a freelancer, but it focused more on the logistical side of things, on how to schedule and prep for taking breaks.

So for this episode, I’m going to get more into the mindset and emotional aspect of it. Because taking a break sounds lovely, right? But when your brain is fighting you every step of the way, that break is either not going to happen, or it’s going to end up not being as restorative as you’d like. And I know this is a common problem that many of us experience, so I wanted to kick off the year by chatting about this as both small business owners and as human beings.

I’m not claiming to have the right answers here, or even answers at all. But my goal is to just get you thinking more about how this applies to your own life and business, and just get the conversation started. I have a feeling a lot of us are going to need to take some breaks in 2025. So let’s just dive right in.

I’m going to start by giving you a little backstory into my latest break and where this kind of all came from for this episode. I suspected toward the end of 2024 that I needed a break. It wasn’t one single thing that triggered the thought, but more like a hundred different thoughts and realizations that finally came to a head around Thanksgiving time here in the US, so like, end of November.

And for me, here’s what those thoughts look like. First, I’m very fortunate right now in the stage I’m at in my career that I know that I love my business. I absolutely love what I do. I love the people that I work with. I know I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing, and I haven’t always felt that way.

If you’re in that boat, it can definitely be more difficult to pinpoint what’s wrong. But even with all that, even with all of that assurance that I’m doing what I want to do, I was still second-guessing myself and wondering if what I was doing was enough, or if I was making any sort of impact. 

And some of the thoughts, just some of the thoughts, sounded a little something like this: I don’t have time to take a break. There’s too much work to do. I’m going to disappoint people. If I’m not working, I’m just being lazy. What am I doing? Why am I not producing? Am I making any sort of difference? If I’m not working, I’m going to miss out on opportunities. Or it takes too long for me to settle into a break, which is something that I do struggle with a lot. And we’re going to talk about that a little bit more.

But do any of those sound familiar to you? They’re pretty common, right? And having those kind of second-guessing thoughts are what made me really come to the realization that I needed to take a beat. I needed to regroup and figure out what was going on.

And for all of us, as small business owners, having those types of thoughts is a very good indicator that something is out of alignment. It might not be existential or a huge thing. It doesn’t mean you need to blow up your business and start from scratch or make a massive pivot, but it is an indicator that something big enough is triggering those thoughts for you that aren’t necessarily normal or beneficial.

So after I realized I’m having all these thoughts and I’m just not able to work through them, I’m like, I’m going to take a break in December. So I decided not to do any podcast episodes and I was going to slow down in my business, which for me looked like fewer editing projects. And then we always take a bit of a breather in the Freelance Editors Club in December anyway. So that just fit really well in there.

But it was a slowdown for sure, which, December is a natural time to do that, with the holidays and everything winding down. But y’all, good grief, it took me forever to actually calm my nervous system down and quiet my brain enough that I felt like I was legitimately taking a break.

And I’ve taken tons of breaks in my life, right? But for many reasons, this time felt different. There was a lot of guilt for doing it. A lot of, I was letting people down, I wasn’t doing enough, I was being ungrateful and lazy amidst a world of chaos, and I have so much privilege, and how dare I think that I have it so bad that I need to take a break.

And it took, and it continues to take, a lot of self-coaching and journaling for me to get to the root of it. Which is, that we as humans in a world of capitalism, are raised and expected to produce, anything less than productive or hustling is lazy, which is just gross for human beings, not human doings.

We’re so much more than our production levels, but for many of us, that’s what we’ve been raised and taught to do. And that sort of made me or not made me, but led me to take a book off of my TBR pile that has been there for a very long time, but I’m going to say that it was there for a long time because the universe knew I needed that book now.

That’s what I’m going with. And I picked it for our January book club inside the Freelance Editors Club, and it’s called Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey. And it is completely changing my perspective on what she calls grind culture and its ties to white supremacy and capitalism. I’m not even halfway through the book yet at the time of this recording, but I already know it’s going to be a book I refer back to regularly, and I’m going to always be recommending it.

Which, by the way, if you haven’t read it, get thee to a bookstore or library ASAP because it’s so applicable to every single one of us. We are always expected to do more and be more and work more, and quite frankly, it’s effing exhausting, it’s unsustainable, and the book really digs into the roots, and it challenges you to question your own relationship with work and rest, because all of us are going to have a different relationship, right?

We all have different backgrounds and experiences, cultures, and religions, and so on and so forth, and every single one of us needs rest, not as a reward, but as a requirement and a right. And yeah, that’s just not how many of us were raised. I was taught you had to hustle or you’re not going to accomplish anything. Work hard and good things will happen.

Side note here too, because I don’t want to, I don’t want anyone to start thinking down this road. I am not saying don’t work hard or expect everything to be handed to you. It’s not one or the other, right? It’s not one end of the spectrum or the other.

Take care. Do the thing you’re meant to do—run your business, do the things that you love—just not to the detriment of your health and your relationships and your life, right? We tend to think in extremes, but think more along the lines of a spectrum instead, okay? Rest does not have to mean a three-hour nap or a huge vacation, talking about those extremes, although I’ll take both anytime of the day.

It can be sitting in silence for five minutes. It can be taking a walk around the block or in your apartment. It can be doing a hobby or a craft, Listen to your favorite song. Have a dance party to your favorite song. It doesn’t have to be extreme or huge, because the real nuggets happen in the small changes we make in our daily lives.

And I know if you’ve listened to this podcast at all in the past, that’s a very common theme, right? I’m all about the small incremental changes and things as opposed to these big, sweeping changes, because small changes are much more sustainable and they just work better. We know that for sure.

So if you find yourself needing to take a break like me, whether it’s for a minute, an hour, a week, a month, whatever, I encourage you to keep an eye out on what thoughts and emotions pop up for you when you think about taking a break.

If you’re feeling guilty, why is that? Is there something ingrained in you that makes you think a certain way? And if so, is there a way you can work through it? Do you have any tools to use to help yourself manage your emotions? Prayer, meditation, working out, therapy, or do you need to find new tools that fit better into your current lifestyle?

Maybe the tools you used to use no longer work for a variety of reasons. And keep in mind that when we’re dealing with things like this that have likely been a part of us for decades, it’s going to take time to work through them. The journey is most likely going to be lifelong. So many things I’m learning as I grow older and as I raise my kids.

So many things are ingrained in us at such a young age. And then when we learn, you know, something that contradicts those things, it takes a very long time, if not lifelong to readjust your thinking or think a different way, but the journey is still necessary.

Even if it’s lifelong and with that regular practice and talking about it in our communities, we can shed that either unnecessary guilt around resting and taking breaks or the whole thought around production and hustle. And, when our worth is tied to as human beings, because when we talk about it, when we confront it, it makes us stronger humans and business owners and global citizens.

And quite frankly, right now the world needs all the humanity it can get. And it’s much tougher to do the good work we’re meant to do when we’re exhausted. I don’t expect all of us to be magically rested and at 100%. That’s sadly unattainable, but we can all work individually and together to fight the systems that don’t work for us. And the grind culture, the hustle culture, it doesn’t work for us. And I don’t know about you, but I’m over it.

So that’s my little spiel on taking breaks. I hope it got your wheels turning a little bit and you’re thinking more about taking breaks and where any guilt comes from around it, or what thoughts and emotions come up when you’re thinking about it.

It’s very deep. It is deeply rooted. There’s lots of elements to it. And I want to talk more and more about it. We’re definitely going to be talking about it inside the Freelance Editors Club, especially this month, because it’s our book club pick. But even just in our communities, online communities, in-person communities, in our family and friend circles, let’s just keep talking about it because we need to bring it to the forefront and start recognizing that the path that we’ve been on is not sustainable and we need to change it. For all of us.

So yeah, that’s it for now. If you would like to join our book club with Rest is Resistance and the Freelance Editors Club this month, feel free to check it out. You can go to TaraWhitaker.com/club. We do a two-week free trial, so you can check it out with no payments or risks.

But otherwise, until next time, keep learning and growing, but remember to take those breaks.

Thank you so much for tuning in to today’s episode. If you enjoy The Modern Editor Podcast, I would be so grateful if you left us a review over on iTunes. And as always, you can head to TaraWhitaker.com to connect with me and stay in touch. We’ll chat again soon.

My Experience With Taking Breaks

At the end of November 2024, I started to feel like I needed a break. However, I had a hard time pinpointing what was making me feel that way. I love what I do and the people I work with. I feel like I’m doing what I’m meant to do. 

I felt like I didn’t have time to take a break and it would disappoint people. Not to mention, it made me feel lazy. All these thoughts made me realize I needed to take a break and regroup. They were an indication that something was out of alignment. 

I decided to take December off from producing podcast episodes and I took on fewer editing projects. It was a major slowdown, and it took forever to calm my nervous system and quiet my brain. 

Rest is a Right

It took a ton of self-coaching and journaling to get to the bottom of the guilt I felt about taking the break. I realized in our capitalistic world, we’re expected to continuously produce work. If we’re not working it’s because we’re lazy.

We are so much more than our productivity levels. During my break, I read the book Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, and it completely changed my perspective on “grind culture” and its ties to white supremacy and capitalism. Rest is not a reward; it’s a requirement and a right. 

Rest Doesn’t Cancel Out Hard Work

Advocating for taking breaks doesn’t mean I’m recommending you don’t work hard or expect everything to get handed to you. I believe in having a strong work ethic, but it doesn’t have to be one end of the spectrum or the other. 

You should do what you love to do, but it shouldn’t be to the detriment of your health and relationships. 

Taking a break doesn’t have to look like a three-hour nap or long vacation. It could be five minutes of sitting in silence or listening to your favorite song. Small changes have a big impact because they’re more sustainable than sweeping changes.

Explore Your Mindset Around Taking Breaks

If you feel like you need a break but feel guilty over it, I encourage you to investigate the emotions that are popping up. Is there something ingrained in you that makes you feel guilty? Do you have the tools to work through that feeling and manage your emotions?

I encourage you to talk through your feelings with your communities because talking about it makes us stronger humans and global citizens. We need to talk about this topic more to help us realize that the path we’re on is unsustainable and we need to change it.

Important Sections:

  • (1:37) My Experience With Taking Breaks
  • (4:35) Rest is a Right 
  • (7:04) Rest Doesn’t Cancel Out Hard Work
  • (8:24) Explore Your Mindset Around Taking Breaks

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